I Love...

I write things when I'm depressed. It should come as no surprise that I am writing a lot these days, as I am unemployed, single, and so consumed with post-graduation slump that I can't even remember what day of the week it is. Is it Tuesday? It doesn't really matter. My point is that I hope someday that my depression will not be the reason I pick up a pencil and paper, or sit down at a computer. I want, someday, as an expression of worship, to be able to write from my joy. I want to be able to describe joy to people, so that they can know it more fully. I'm not there yet. Far too often joy blindsides me, and I am taken off guard, much to my delight, and forced to float along with it, obeying its every whim until it plops me down on the side of life's river, so that I may wait for another stream of depression to sweep me up again. Those are the stronger currents in my life these days, and the ones that last the longest. I still hold fast to the hope that someday this will not be true. In the meantime, I have to hold on to what I know, and make the best of what I have. But for the future, these are the things that give me joy, the things that I want to be able to write about someday:

1. Ice cream on a hot day.

2. One on one conversations with the people who have seen me cry.

3. Laughing so hard that it hurts.

4. Little kids who say "hi" to everyone in the grocery store.

5. Baptisms.

6. Finding Jesus in places I didn't think he belonged.

7. 12 bar blues Jammin' with Will and/or Paul.

8. Getting advice from really old men.

9.  Phone calls from my sisters [too rare:( ]

10. Grooms who tear up at their weddings.

11. Monterey, CA.

12. Long Beach, CA.

13. Hugging strangers who need a hug.

14. Campfires+acoustic guitars.

15. Discovering hidden talents.

16. Meeting people whose jobs reflect their passions.

17. New relationships.

18. Reunions.

19. Serving food to the homeless.

20. LAUP 2007 (and anything associated with LAUP 2007)

21. Grass + bare feet.

22. Bosses that are well liked.

23. That part of the day after the sun goes down, but before it gets completely dark.

24. New music.

25. Fresh art.

26. Looking through sketchbooks.

27. Being known AND loved @ the same time (also too rare)

28. Wrestling matches with Timmy.

29. Foreign countries.

30. conversations with no pauses.

31. The beach.

32. Random Photography - based games.

33. Walking around with a friend just to kill time.

34. White kids and Black kids who are best friends.

35. ipod + 2 people + sharing earbuds.

36. Late night study sessions.

37.  Knowing just what to say at the right moment.

38. Reciprocation.

39. Education.

40. Familial obligation.

41. Group prayer (especially when we all hold hands).

42. Church picnics.

43. Psalms

44. Proverbs.

45. Ecclesiastes.

46. Song of Solomon.

47. Amos.

48. Hosea.

49. Q and Mercy from Skid row.

50. Old Weezer songs.

51. A sink with no dishes.

52. A fresh set of guitar strings.

53. New socks.

54. getting a haircut.

55. A balanced checkbook.

56. Handwritten notes.

57. Battleship tournaments.

58. Card games.

59. grateful people.

60. Bible study.

I think it might be working already. I won't rush it though. Someday. Someday it will be.