Life of a Starving Artist in Haiku

I was trying to come up with something to read at my open mic night this week. I've been really busy, and I haven't had time to write anything really long, so I tried my hand at haiku. I wanted to write things about my life that frustrated me. I wanted to get like three or four of them, but I had so much fun that I did fifteen. I really want to share them with you all. I categorized them for easy reference:)

JOB

Hello sir. Can I

Get you a glass of wine to

Wash down that smug look?

Thanks for applying

We want you to have this job

Oh. You're an artist

I have a B.S.

It's really a B.A., but

It's in film, so... yeah.

Account overdrawn

I want to change perspective

Paycheck underdrawn.

I am a waiter

Until something better comes

my job is to wait.

GIRLS

You must wait until

My heart stops beating so fast

Then I will call you.

ROOMMATES

I will wash dishes

When hell freezes or I write

My English paper

Arhythmic snoring

If you take requests could you

Sing soft in your sleep?

Your girlfriend giggles

When you tickle her elbows

I'll cut off your hands.

Heavy metal songs

Fill my ears in the mornings

I need a Q tip.

I wish I could say

"Go to bed, it's 3 AM"

In Vietnamese.

I like loud music

until I'm tired and have to

work in the morning.

I know how to sleep

With the lights on and a big

pillow on my face.

MISC.

Bumbling hornet.

How are you inside my car?

Did you bring a friend?

Is it chocolate chips?

I found in my silverware?

Never mind, rat shit.

Haha. Sorry about that. It made me giggle.