Hello, what's your name?
Stephen.
Ah! Welcome to Korea. Where are you from?
America.
USA! Do you swim here every day?
Not every day. Three times per week.
Three times, one week. Yes. Are you a good swimmer?
I'm okay.
Have you mastered the four swimming styles?
I never learned the butterfly stroke.
Butterfly stroke?
Like this (make motion).
Ah! Butterfly stroke. Why?
Because it's stupid.
I feel myself becoming more and more detached from the present, as though it is merely a passageway between my beginning and whatever I'm heading towards. My life is so much more habitual than it ever has been. I just lift my head from time to time to make sure I'm doing whatever it was I decided months ago was important for me to do.
I am teaching.
I am showering.
I am at the pool.
I am drinking coffee.
I am going to sleep.
I am waking up.
Everything else is all blurs. Colored ribbons of light an motion that guide my way. I dare not even name them. I am waiting for the future to land on top of this present and squash it dead. In the meantime...
I am going to sleep.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
"My life is so much more habitual than it ever has been."
I decided a couple years ago, without realizing it, than this is my definition of adulthood. The mundane routine of getting up at five am for work, slogging through the same mess of papers, and coming home tired and too mentally exhausted from work to actually do anything productive at home, only to repeat the cycle again. I feel like I'm caught in a bad movie and I'm too tied down by the responsibility of having a stable job, of paying my bills, of being a good employee, to do anything about it. And too scared to try to change anything.
Maybe the beginning of a bad movie can become the setup for a good one.
The Antagonist is defined as a character in a story who has a goal and takes action. For many years, I was neither.
The thing is, it takes one moment to change everything forever. This part of my life is important, because I am building towards that goal I made for myself. When the time comes, it's going to be a movie you'll want to watch. I'll save you front row seats.
In the meantime, Titanica...
...One moment. What is it for you?
Post a Comment