시 문 선 생 님

I am starting to think that miscommunication may be my favorite form of communication.

I have been at my school for about two days now, and I feel like a member of a family, most of whom can’t say much more than two or three phrases to me. The only exception is 소 양, (roughly pronounced So-Yang) my teaching partner. We still have a lot of trouble communicating though, and I am constantly scratching my head to figure out what she just said to me. There are a lot of awkward pauses, which make me laugh, which make her laugh, with neither of us exactly sure what is making us laugh. It’s fun to have no idea what you are doing.

The kids at the school are really excited that I’m here. I’m not teaching classes yet, but just trying to observe another teacher’s classroom proved to be too much excitement. I had to leave. I was preparing my lessons for when I finally get to teach (I believe by Wednesday of next week) when a crowd of 5^th grade boys burst into my room, trying desperately to unload all of the English words that they knew.

“Hello! Nice to meet you!”

“what is your name?”

“Where are you from?”

“What is your hobby?”

“What did you do for summer vacation?”

"Excuse me! Can you tell me what time it is? Thank you!"

It kind of reminds me of asking all the Spanish speakers I knew where I could find the library.

I know where the library is.

Al suroeste del salon de classe.

Gracias.

소 양 , another teacher (I forgot her name) and I got official leave from the school (which required three different signatures of approval) in order to shop for supplies to decorate our teaching room. Halfway through this, the other teacher said that she was tired and it was too hot. We went to rest up in a local coffee shop in the downtown area. 소 양 tells me that more than anything, she likes piano music and the smell of new books. I think we are going to get along really well. She studied Korean in college, and so has promised to help me learn. I was so worried that I wouldn’t meet anyone who would want to teach me. I’m going to take advantage of every opportunity I have to learn from her.

Part of my contract stipulates that I am supposed to have a washing machine at my apartment. I am excited about it, because it didn’t arrive the first day. I’m looking at it now, and I realize that I have no idea how to use it, as all the instructions are in Korean. I hadn’t even realized how many things I would not know how to do because of the language barrier. I also don’t know how to say my address. I’ll have to talk to someone about that. In the meantime, I’m going to push all the buttons on this machine until it washes something.

Someone once asked me if I thought it was possible to fall in love with someone you barely know. I still don’t know if that’s possible, but I now know how she felt. It’s not a person for me, though, it’s a place. I am so happy here. It doesn’t make any sense, but I can feel it. I want so badly to be as helpful to these people as I can. I want to be a good employee, a good student of language and culture, a good teacher, and a good friend. I’ve always tried to be above average at everything I do, but I’ve never really wanted to be the best type of person I was able to be. Maybe that’s what love is supposed to do.

Sun Chaser

Had lunch with Dad today before I got on the plane. It’s strange, I think we’re becoming friends. I don’t know if you’re allowed to be friends with someone who had a hand in making you, but I’m sure that friendship is better than whatever we had before. Some people don’t even like their dads. I think I was at one time one of them, but now I think we are becoming friends.

The plane was 12 hours. Didn’t seem like it, but there you go. I watched some good movies and also Iron Man 2. Yes, I put it in a separate category. Deal with it.

They keep giving me things on this flight. Everything from apples, to peanuts, cups of orange juice, and hot towels. I wouldn’t even know what to do with hot towels if I had never seen The Wedding Singer. At one point, they even gave me a little zippered bag. When I opened it up, there were socks inside. Socks? What am I supposed to do with socks?

Well, put them on my feet, obviously, but…

Question: why does the bathroom door have an ashtray on it? No one smokes on the plane. Really. Why?

Everyone has been telling me how humid it is in Korea. I don’t know how to gauge that. At least I didn’t until I got off the plane.

Good Lord! I feel like we landed the plane in someone’s armpit. People live here, and I find that fact astounding. I may continue to be dumbfounded by that simple truth until my body adjusts to the new climate.

All the advertisements here have white people on them. Is that Pierce Brosnan? What is he doing telling the people of Korea what to brush their teeth with?

There was a whole group of people in the airport, waiting. Everyone spoke English. A perfectly safe little bubble. I can’t stay here.

I find it difficult to admit that I dislike all of the people I have met so far. The other teachers, I mean. When I got this job, I thought that the type of people that would like to work in a field like the one that I now work in would be a little bit more like me. Perhaps they crave change, fancy themselves to be adventurous, or perhaps there might be a few artists stuck in a rut that needed a change of pace. I forgot to think about all of the cultural know-it-alls, rice kings, former college students still running away from reality, and unemployed slobs who thought the job sounded easy. I’ve had conversations with 15-20 people so far, and I’m one of 3 who have ever taught a class before. I hope there’s a plan for all of this, God, because it’s already not quite what I thought it would be. My urge to learn Korean is now fueled by my intense desire to NOT spend any more time with these people.

Took a shower. I feel the need to wash this day off me. It’s 10:30 AM in California right now. That means I have been awake for 27 hours now. We chased the sun around the globe, and it has finally caught up. What the morning will bring, I do not know. Hopefully new life, hopefully new possibilities. Hopefully hope.

Beer and Tea

I woke up really late this morning after several stints of being up at 7AM to drive to the Korean Consulate in LA. Don't have to do that anymore. I have a big, fancy, embossed sticker on my passport now. Most of it is written in a language I don't speak, with the exception of the word "Visa" and my name/personal information. That was the last piece. I feel like I'm in a scene from Inception. I keep rubbing the top of my visa over and over again, trying to determine if it's all real.

My friends keep calling me, and I keep leaving to hang out. I have so many different types of friends that they all seem to want to hang out at different times, and it all seems to work out...

Breakfast with Liz and Justine.

Beer and fire pit with Joe.

Dinner with Lora (She's working until 5).

Beer and cartoons with John.

Lunch (cooked @ home) with Phoebe.

Tea in the morning with Genie.

Actually, we both originally said "in the morning," though plans have been made for 1PM. Neither of us is really set up to wake up in the morning (that may be why we're both working part time jobs with weird hours). Regular people wake up early in the morning. Genie and I are NOT regular people. That's probably why we're good friends.

Back to wondering if I'm still dreaming. If I am, then it's a good dream. I have so many friends down here, and they are all telling me how much they are going to miss me. Am I making a mistake, just uprooting everything and leaving? I call myself "lonely bear." Strange that I am now choosing loneliness. It had never been my choice before.

This is different though. Really, what I'm doing right now is vacationing at home. I am around the people I love without having to make any personal sacrifices.

It's a lovely place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there.

That's what people say about most of the places they vacation at. Only this time it isn't true. I do want to stay. Right now, what I am doing is not staying.

It's just beer and tea. It's not a relationship, it's just "hanging out." I hang out with a lot of people, but I've never been in a relationship before. Maybe I run away. Maybe that's what this big embossed sticker on my passport is all about. People say that I'm going to be a rock star there.

If I wanted to be a rock star, I would have practiced the guitar more.

I want to stay somewhere. I want to be in a relationship.

I'm already tired of beer, and tea, and "hanging out" and the other things you do when you're not staying. I don't want to run away.

I Want To Be Like You

Yosemite.

One of nature’s great wonders. A jewel on the face of northern California. An impressive collection of really big rocks.

I hope I see a bear.

There are warning signs everywhere, complete with instructions on how to be sure you run into one. Karolina says that I should not wish to see a bear. She says that bears are not cute and cuddly like in the cartoons.

She lies.

Bears are, in fact, adorable and full to the brim with the warm fuzzies. I am going to catch one by rubbing myself in honey, rolling around in graham crackers and singing the King Louis song from The Jungle Book.

I hope I don’t run into any bees.

Maybe I should dress like a little black rain cloud.

No one watches those cartoons anymore.

I think I could make a really good life for myself here in Yosemite. With my new bear friends, we would eat berries, wrestle, and hatch schemes to steal picnic baskets from the park rangers. Mom says we have to go back to the cabin and eat tacos.

Pooh.

Being a human is so full of disappointment.