2.5.11

Training Wheels

There's a space just below my colar bone that has been acting up with the warm, humid weather. My copious body hair combined with the heat wave, which dries my skin, has made everything itchy. I often catch myself scratching it, though I know I shouldn't. The result of this is a bright red patch on my chest that is extremely sensitive to touch.

I did this to myself.

I've caused myself physical pain in the persuit of temporary relief. Now, I must be vigilant, and avoid this behavior before I make things worse.

It's remarkable to think how the body heals itself. To think that we can make mistakes (which we often do) yet we are not stuck with the consequences of these mistakes forever. We have been given bodies that want to return to a state of health, should they be given the chance. It's free will, and the fact that we weild it so clumbsily that makes everything so difficult. I had heard it said once that without human interaction, the Earth would return to a state of ecological equilibrium within 50 years.

That sounds crazy. Absolutely insane. I believe it.

"You have been faithful with a few things, I will now put you in charge of many things."

Maybe we weren't paying attention.

I'm an adult now. There are no other words I can attach to my life like training wheels for what I am. This is my life, and I am trying to avoid the temptation of temporary relief, so that I can be healed. The decisions I've made are still evident, like bright red patches on my skin. I had a plan to fix my life, but it seems I've made a lot of mistakes. Give it time. Someday, I will want, more than temporary relief, a longer story.

Does anything feel as good as freedom?