Ducks and Humans

I kicked a duck today. I was in the park. I kicked a duck in the park today. I was sitting on the edge of the lake, trying to figure out what had happened to me over the past 23 years, when a large pile of ducks plopped up on the shore. It looked like they were in a huddle of some sort, like pictures I've seen of rugby players. It made me smile at first. Ducks are kind of cute, you know. They kept pecking at something in the middle of their little circle. I was curious, so I went over to see what it was. It was a female duck. It must be mating season. When ducks have sex, it isn't cute. It's probably the least cute thing they do. They have to grab the female by the back of the neck, and stand up on top of her. It looks like it hurts. I think I was right, because this female was trying as hard as she could to get away. She couldn't, though, because she had to fight off so many. There were about 10 male ducks on top of her. She broke loose and made it to the water but they caught up with her again, They were holding her under water. I don't think she could breathe, and it seemed like the other ducks didn't care. They dragged her up on the shore again, and I could see that most of the fight was out of her, but she was still struggling. They kept pecking at her, and I could see that the feathers were gone from the back of her neck, and her head was bleeding. My God, they are going to kill her.

People have always said of me that I am more emotionally involved with most things than I should be. That's probably true, and I think I proved it today. I couldn't just sit there and watch these ducks kill another duck just because they were horny, so I got up, and tried to scare them off her. They all scattered instantly, except for one guy. He was probably captain of the duck football team or something. Douche bag. Duck bag? I don't know. I kicked him. I kicked him square in the stomach, and he went flying. She got away, and got a serious head start. He and his crew caught up with her on the other side of the lake, where I assume he got what he wanted, since the struggling stopped.

I'm an idiot, really. Appointing myself chancellor of duck rape prevention. And failing. I guess I really don't know what else to do. Ducks aren't really that cute after all. They remind me of humans in far too many ways. I wish...

I don't know what I wish. I guess I just wish I didn't feel so close to all this mess. Human beings aren't really that much better at relationships than ducks. I can see some of them across the shore, flapping their wings in the air with their chests puffed out. I used to think that was cute. Arrogant bastards.