San Fransico Day 3: Downhill

Today is my last day in San Fransisco. I can't decide if I'm sad ('cause tomorrow I'll have to remember that I need to be responsible and find a job), or happy (because HyounJun keeps calling Alcatraz Azkaban [seriously, he's done it like three times]). I can't figure myself out. I might as well just enjoy this. Chelsea is with us. It's nice to have her here. I feel like we're going to be best friends forever, no matter what. I think my life won't be so bad, knowing that.

We spent all day looking for this Japanese Tea Garden in Golden Gate Park. I wanted to go because I remember going there with my Mom when I was little. Whenever I think of San Fransisco, I think of traveling there with Mom and Jon, and Sarah, and Deborah, Hannah, and little Timmy (Before Rachel was born), waiting to pick up Dad from his business trip to London. I remember laying down on my stomach on the walkway to look at the fish in the pond. I asked mom if all Japanese fish had mustaches. She said no, and to get up before I get my nice clothes (third generation handmedown) dirty. I knew I could stay like this until she could fish Timmy out of the pond. He wanted to take the fish home. I bet Mom got tired of being glared at by complete strangers everywhere she went. She loved us though. She told us all the time. She told us Dad loved us too (though he couldn't say it himself until just recently). It was a spiritual experience (though I was too young to know it). Surrounded by green in this alien atmosphere, covered with jackets that had been in the family for years, wind whipping about my body, waiting for father to come home after being away for so long. I wanted to return to that place.

We found it. They charge admission now. HyounJun says that this place is like Korea, and that it was a lot of stuff he'd seen before. I asked him if he meant by that that Korea was just like Japan. I don't know why I say stuff like that. It just makes him mad (like when I say that Kimpop (can't spell) is just like sushi). But for me, it was just like I remembered. I am six, waiting for my father in an alien place, surrounded by mustached Japanese fish. I don't want to live in the past, but it's nice to visit from time to time.

We decide to go home. HyounJun says he misses my parent's refrigerator. I miss the people that eat out of it. For some reason, his tiredness from last night seems irrelevant now, because HyounJun says we should have asked Chelsea where we could find a club to go to. I told him Chelsea had probably never been to a club. He said that was impossible. Chelsea said it was true. HyounJun said that she probably knows someone who knows where to find one. Chelsea said that her sister did. I told HyounJun he should have mentioned that yesterday. HyounJun swore to God that he did. I told HyounJun that when he swears to God, it doesn't mean anything. He laughed. I'm not sure if I was making a joke or not. I'm going to miss him when he's gone. I'm going to miss everyone.

We're careening down hills on our way out of this place, straight back to where we came from. I don't know when I'll be back, if I'll be back. Did I miss something? Will the future hold as much promise as the things I'm leaving behind?