Sin

I'm feeling a lot better today.

I've been sick.

Sick enough to miss Korean class. I never miss Korean class. Sick enough to take medicine. I never take medicine. Sick enough to mention it.

I usually don't mention it when I'm sick, because my co-workers (even though some of them are younger than me) tend to be motherly towards me. I haven't lived with my mother for quite some time. When I'm sick, I prefer to be left alone. Now, I share an office with three mothers. They're also a little bit paranoid when it comes to illness (for which they use the word "disease").

"Are you sick? You must come to the nursery (school nurse's office) with me."

"After, we will go hospital. After work, let's together go."

"Do you have the allergy? Yellow dust, I think. It comes from China."

"Yesterday we were playing yut nori. The mats were dusty. Maybe that?"

If anything, I'll bet it's the fact that I have to high-five each of the 6th graders as they leave class (right before lunch, too). Call it a cultural exchange. Hand washing and general hygene is a bit of a rough concept for that age group. Sometimes this country makes me laugh. Sometimes it makes me sick. Always, it makes me think.

Last night, I barely made it to the "hospital" (it was actually just a clinic. Koreans tend to abuse the word "hospital"). It was all I could do to stay awake, when just a few hours prior I was on my fee entertaining my 4th graders. It would seem that in life, we are only able to muster what strength is required of us. Oh, impardonable sin, that we should want just a little bit more. That's where both confidence and laziness come from.

I used to be lazy, but not because I was confident. Now, I'm neither. I'm sick, and I took medicine, though I rarely look for help with whatever is wrong with me. I prefer to be alone, but I mentioned it, and I took medicine.

I'm feeling a lot better today.