Something To Sit On

I've been in Korea for nearly a year now.

I'm trying to think about how much I have been changed by this experience, and to be honest, there's a lot. I still often discover a deep sense of dissapointment with myself and my ability to cope with the life that I have. I'm not too concerned with dissapointment. It's not exactly my first time.

By and large, I've seen me, up close and personal. I find this frightening, baffling, and reassuring at the same time, and I refuse to explain what that means until I figure it out for myself. There's a lot going into me right now, and a lot more that needs to, if I am ever going to become a man.

Good lord, do you hear the way I talk about myself? I need a vacation from me. My changeup needs a changeup.

I want to hear from God. I want the voices in my head again. I can't take a vacation with my friends, and I can't go home this summer (believe me, two circumstances waaay beyond my control)so I guess I am alone.

Alone is a gift, regardless of how I see it. If alone is the gift that I've been given, then I'm going to unwrap it, and play with it for a little while. Maybe even be grateful.

I said maybe.

There's an island a few miles off the coast of South Korea. They call it 제주(Jeju). Women, rocks and horses. They claim to have a lot of those.

I was never much into horses.

Let's just say that I'm going for the rocks. I need something to sit on. I'm going to listen for the mighty wind, and the earth quaking, and the silence after. Especially the silence. I think the silence will take a little bit of time. I have 12 days. They say you can see the whole island in 2 days by car. I wonder how much I can see on foot.

I'm going to walk until I have no more feet. Until they belong to someone else.

I hope that you, oh loyal reader(s?), will stick around. I think that something qhuite interesting will happen this summer.