Hope Vs. Future

It's inevitable. The future becomes the present, becomes the past. There were people in front of me who are now beside me, and will one day be behind me. I'm sorry. I don't mean to turn into Eyore over here, but I'm hopelessly bummed out right now. I've spent the last three years hanigng out with these people, this group called Intervarsity, and in a few months it is going to be over. I am going to have to be an adult, and adults don't get to have cool college friends. They don't get to lead bible studys on Monday nights at the University Village. They don't knock on the doors of total strangers and ask them if they can take out their trash. They don't get to spend spring break doing an inductive study of the gospel of Mark. They don't get spring break. It's the nine to five, the grind, the rat race, and being surrounded by all these other rats who don't care about you, or about God, or about anything but running their little wheels. I had lunch with a few people from my church yesterday. Someone asked one of the guys there (I think his name was Peter) what he was doing right now. He shrugged. "Just working."
"Same place?"
"Yeah."
"You like it there?"
"It's allright."
I've pretty much convinced myself that I'm never going to be one of those boring adults who never has anything interesting to say, but yesterday I looked at that man, and even though we look nothing alike (He was korean and a good deal older than me) I saw my own face staring into a half finished plate of Pad see ew. I'm scared of a lot of the things I'll have to do to get what I want (e.g. Deadlines, business interviews, asking out a girl [don't even get me started]) but I think I'm even more scared of the thought that nothing I want will happen. That my life will be safe. And boring. And alone. It's mostly alone that scares me. Right now I'm surrounded by so many people. I don't even have to call them (I hate calling people). They're just near me. All the time. What happens when they go away? What about when I have to work to keep in contact? Will I suceed? Will I fail? I'm scared of the future, mostly.

"'For surely I know the plans that I have for you,' says the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Pans to give you a hope and a future.'"

-Jeremiah 29:11

I know that. I need to understand it. To believe it.

God, I believe. Help my unbelief.