January 14, 2008

I got lost in downtown Long Beach today. I have an interview there for an internship with an independent record label. It's frustrating getting lost when you know some one's waiting for you, especially in Long Beach, where every other street is one way. You have to know exactly where you're going to get anywhere in Long Beach. Otherwise you just end up going around in circles. In addition to all the fun circles, getting lost gives you more time to stress and obsess about tiny details, especially when you're doing something you've never done before. What do I wear to an interview? I've decided that I need to impress people. No torn jeans, no t shirts. What about the lip ring? Pro: I like it. Con: it's unprofessional. Tie goes to no lip ring with "I play with it a lot, and that grosses some people out." No lip ring. I finally find the place, go inside, and meet Brandon Chamberlain, president of The Militia Group. Hair in his face, torn jeans, t shirt, lip ring. Don't be fake, Stephen. Don't be fake. Despite my no lip ring/button down shirt/slacks appearance, Brandon still offered me an internship. I have the thing I need to graduate in the palm of my hand. In Long Beach too? I love that city. I spent a summer there. I met God there, right up close and personal. We talked about the future. Could this be it? I stopped by the after school program I worked at this summer before leaving. I love these kids. They hate me. I don't care. I love them. I said hi, got a few hugs, got called a few names, got my hair made fun of (before it was too long, now it's too short) and was heading out when something hit my leg. It was a shoe. I looked over and saw Vanessa, four years old (could she be five now?) trying as hard as she could to look mean and tough. I said hi. She hit me with her other shoe. I knew better than that. I ran over to her and picked her up and twirled her around in the air like I did last summer. She kicked me several times, but when I tried to put her down, she held on tight to my arm and wouldn't let go, as though if she could hold on forever, I wouldn't leave. I love that girl. I finally had to say goodbye, so she hit me with her shoe again, flashing her angry face. It's just not even possible to take that angry face seriously. It just makes me love her more. I wish she could hold on forever, then I couldn't leave. But I had to go home and tell my roommates the good news. I got lost again on the way home. I think I did it on purpose. It's so nice to get lost when you have no place to be. I got to see so much more of Long Beach than I would have if I had done something boring like find the right way the first time. I love this city. It's so weird and complicated. It's breathtaking. I called Mom and Dad on the way home, and told them the news. I have an internship in the city of Long Beach. The beautiful city of Long Beach, full of wonderful homeless people, incredible little girls that throw shoes, and impossible one way streets that make you go in circles for hours, like dancing. I left my heart in Long Beach last summer. Today, I found it again.